


apologies and promises

by anotherthief



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:32:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16532873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherthief/pseuds/anotherthief
Summary: Eric and Holly at the hospital after the explosion.





	apologies and promises

Eric has spent more time in hospitals than he ever thought possible and given the choice would never see the inside of one ever again, but that’s where he finds himself after the explosion. That’s just the way his life goes.

The doctors clear Holly pretty quickly, but they want to keep her overnight for observation. Eric has a slight concussion. They want him to go to his own room, let someone else take care of Holly, but Eric refuses to leave her. Her mother is dead and he blames himself. If he hadn’t been so stupid a year ago, hadn’t been so blinded by his insecurities, he’d have realized Nicole didn’t leave by choice. He should have beaten the truth out of Brady if that’s what it took. He should have chased after Nicole and gotten it from her. Or both. He should have done something, _anything_ , but he let her slip through his fingers. He should have prevented all of this. He should have. He could have. But he didn’t. Now the love of his life is dead. Holly is an orphan. And it’s all his goddamned fault.

 

-

 

Holly screams for hours.

Eric and Holly walk. He doesn’t know what else to do, doesn’t know how to calm her down. All he can do is wait until she wears herself out. So they walk. He rubs soothing motions on her back and whispers a constant stream of apologies in her ear.

_I’m sorry your mother is dead. I’m sorry your father is dead. I’m sorry that I’m the reason you’re an orphan. I’m sorry your world has been turned upside down so many times already. I’m sorry that you’re scared. I’m sorry that your mother won’t be here when you wake up in the morning. I’m sorry that you’re going to grow up without her. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._

They walk until Holly’s screams turn into sobs, until her sobs turn into whimpers, until she exhausts herself and goes limp in Eric’s arms, until the vice grip she has on his sleeves goes slack and she’s asleep. For now. Eric has no doubt there will be a repeat performance when she wakes up. And for many days afterwards. He can’t really blame her. He feels like screaming, too.

 

-

 

Once Holly’s finally asleep, he can’t bring himself to lay her down. It’s partly out of fear of her waking up, partly out of fear that someone will try to take her away from him. Eric doesn’t know what’s going to happen or how he’s going to do this. All he knows is that he can’t lose her. He can’t let go. Instead he reclines them both in an uncomfortable hospital chair and hopes Holly will sleep until morning.

Shock is giving way to exhaustion and Eric knows he needs to sleep, too, but he can’t. When he closes his eyes, he is back in the warehouse with the fire and smoke and the abject horror of realizing Nicole is trapped. Then the even worse horror of waking up outside without her. Followed quickly by being knocked down by the force of the explosion and _knowing_ what it meant - knowing he will never see Nicole again, will never hear her voice or feel the warmth of her hand in his.

No, Eric can’t sleep.

He should be crying. The tears don’t come.

He can’t bring himself to pray.

He just watches Holly sleep. His entire world is whittled down to this moment and this baby girl in his arms. He doesn’t know how either of them are going to get through this, but that night in the half light of the hospital room, Eric promises Holly he will never leave her. He promises Nicole he will do better by her daughter than he ever did by her. He promises himself he will find a way to give Holly whatever she needs to be happy, even though he has never found a way to do that for himself.


End file.
